Your Dream Day Wedding Planning Podcast with Kathy Piech-Lukas
Your Dream Day Wedding Planning Podcast with Kathy Piech-Lukas
Your First Dance with special guest Bud Walters
Are you planning a first dance during your wedding reception with your new husband or wife? One of the wedding industry's finest choreographers and dance instructors, Bud Walters of Your First Dance by Bud Walters, talks with host Kathy Piech-Lukas of Your Dream Day Wedding Planning about how couples can make their first dance extra special on the wedding day.
To listen to more episodes visit www.yourdreamday.com
We are making our own story as we go as we go, as we go, Hopin' we are, hopin' that we'll go. So ever after, ever after.
Speaker 1:Hi and welcome to your Dream Day podcast. I'm Kathy Peach Lucas, your host, and today we are going to be talking about your first dance with none other than Bud Walters. Of your first dance by Bud Walters. That's me Now, bud, how many years have you been doing this?
Speaker 2:Wedding couples for 40 years. I've been teaching dance for about 67 years.
Speaker 1:Holy cow, I'm old Holy cow, so, needless to say, you have a lot of dance experience.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I really feel that that's important, because you're not restricted by what I call a studio regime. You've got to teach this way and you can only teach this set of money lessons if they've signed up for so many lessons. I mean, I've worked for major studios for years, but now that I'm in business for myself.
Speaker 1:I can do what I think is necessary.
Speaker 2:I can work it to what that person needs, not everybody thinks the same.
Speaker 1:Not everybody learns the same.
Speaker 2:Not everybody hears things the same way, so if I explain it one way, I can look at them, and I know that they're not grasping, so I'll explain it a different way. And finally, some of those noodles will stick in the little container and they get it.
Speaker 1:One thing I would guess you probably see a lot is you get brides who have taken dancing lessons when they were a child or, you know, in high school, maybe on their cheerleading team or dance team. And then you have the guys who have never taken a dance lesson in their life.
Speaker 2:Exactly the first thing I tell them, I say okay your fiance has had 12 years of ballet experience and five years of hip hop and whatever. I want you to know that you are both starting out on the same foot, Because the thing is is just because you know how to play tennis that doesn't mean you know how to play football.
Speaker 2:So the fact that she's had dance experience, she's going to learn to follow, you're going to learn to lead and you're starting out at the same plane Does that make you feel better? They go, oh yeah, because they're a little nervous about it. Well, absolutely.
Speaker 1:I mean I would be nervous about it because any dance I've had has been self-taught and I'm sure it's all been kind of bad fetish it's really my job to make the groom feel more comfortable.
Speaker 2:They don't know what to expect. They're there usually because she said we're going to take dance lessons Now what would you say?
Speaker 1:What would you say is the number one reason why couples take a dance lesson.
Speaker 2:Number one they don't want to look foolish out in front of people. They don't want to feel uncomfortable in front of people. I don't liken it to putting on a show, but still in all, you're in the middle of the dance floor, all eyes are on you, and I've had so many people come and say, oh, we went to three weddings this year and all they did was hang on to each other, which I call the Frankenstein butthugger, but they hang on to each other and rock back and forth for a minute, like in the seventh grade when you used to hobble back and forth.
Speaker 2:I also call that the elevator dance because there's no steps involved. And it's just one of those things where people say that's boring and it's like embarrassing in some cases because they just don't look ordinated and they look uncomfortable and it's like it's a ritual that we have to do.
Speaker 1:Well, and when they take that little bit of extra time, I mean it's also a nice bonding time for the couple.
Speaker 2:I've had a couple this week. Oh, buddy, you mentioned that Same way. A couple just wrote a really nice review and she said that I took the time to find out who they were. And I do. I ask them you know where do you work? Because it helps me to find out how they think. Engineers think one way and nurses think another way, and the nurses are always usually in charge.
Speaker 2:That's their job. So I try to find out a bit more how they met, how long they've been living together. I shouldn't say that, but most of them are all living together, and if they're, able to practice and get to know them a little bit. On a more personal, level.
Speaker 1:it's not like okay, let's dance, let's learn this.
Speaker 2:It's that's too cut and dry and that's too Intimidating.
Speaker 1:Clinical. I would think it's probably intimidating too.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, you know, I want them to know, I let them know a little bit about me and my experience so that they feel a little bit better, because sometimes they just found me off of, you know, through a referral or whatever, and they know nothing about as far as they know they're.
Speaker 2:I have a studio in my home and I always I laughed a couple of times and said, for all you know, you were coming to Ted Bundy's house. You know, oh, bud, they don't know. They don't know who I am or what I've done.
Speaker 1:Well, and you bring up an excellent point of how much of your business comes by referral. And you know, I think because your business comes by referral, people are comfortable going to a home because of that.
Speaker 2:They're. They're not and I'm certainly not putting down a major studio. They all have their advantages and they have their disadvantages. I can only know that from working in a major studio, as I have for a long time. People feel more comfortable because I'm in a, I'm out of my home. I have a studio in my home with the mirrors and the dance floor and the whole thing, but it's a one on one situation, right, and I feel like they're there with five other teachers dancing around and they're distracted and whatever it's, it's more comfortable, they're less nervous.
Speaker 2:I can joke around with them. I have the freedom to feel who they are and how far can I go with my joking or whatever? You know, and sometimes you know and all of a sudden, you see the guy on the second lesson. He really loosens up and my student last week wrote on my calendar we love you, bud. And I went oh, you put that on my calendar. That was so sweet and they invited me to their wedding.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's amazing. I try not to go.
Speaker 2:I mean, I will go to theirs, yes, but I try not to go because it makes them nervous. It's kind of like the supervisor standing over your shoulder Right, and I jokingly told them I will be there, but you know, I'm not going to be judging you, I'm not going to be grading you because you're going to do a great job. I think the thing is is that what my students feel is that people are out there judging them and whatever, and I always try to say look, guys, you're going to be the best out on the floor because those people who are watching you didn't take lessons and my objective for you is to make it look like you didn't take lessons, right.
Speaker 2:And so, therefore, you could fall down or roll around on the floor. They're all friends and they're going weren't they wonderful?
Speaker 1:But I'll tell you, when the couple takes the time to just take a few lessons and learn movement, just basic movements, it makes such a difference. They look so regal because they're dressed up, you know, in their best outfit. I call it two point O version of yourself, because it's the best you're probably ever going to look in your life, because you'll be glowing. You're going to have this gorgeous dress on, you're going to have an amazing suit or tuxedo on, and you just come in with all this confidence and that confidence attracts all of your guests and engages all of them to watch you, and then they're enamored by you as a couple.
Speaker 2:Well, I try to tell my students don't dress up for me because I'm not going to dress up for you. I see the girls probably at their like. They look like when they're at home doing the dishes. They have their hair and their ponytail and they have their wedding shoes on with white anklets and shorts. Right, that's okay. All I care about is the shoes.
Speaker 1:Oh yes, All I care about and I do ask them and we can segue again back into that.
Speaker 2:Shoes, shoes, shoes, Shoes shoes, shoes, dress, dress, dress. You want me to get into that today? Absolutely.
Speaker 1:I mean it's. I mean from a planner's perspective. You try to explain to the bride. You have to remember that when you get your dress altered, if you're wearing four inch heels down the aisle and then changing into flip-flops at the reception, your dress is going to fall four inches as well, which makes it very, very challenging not only to just walk around a reception in general. It affects your bustle, it affects everything.
Speaker 2:It does. I don't know how many people who I don't mean planned weddings, but how many people actually. You're the first person I've really heard. That expresses exactly what I tell.
Speaker 1:It's frustrating. Well, because you know how, like gentlemen get ring around the collar when they wear their shirt, well, girls get ring around the dress, and it's at the bottom, and it's because they're dancing all night and they're they're dragging the dress. But the further down the dress goes, the more likely you are to trip on it. You can rip it. The bustle is gonna give out more easily depending on what kind of bustle you have. If you have a French bustle, those tend to hold a little bit better. If you have the eyelet hooks or the or the, the buttons, sometimes, if you are one of those girls that gets down on the dance floor, you're gonna need a little bit of backup with a safety pin. Oh, I have two left feet. You don't want me teaching?
Speaker 2:for you. But I take them around the corner and I just I ask them are you wearing your hair up or down? Are you wearing your veil when you dance? Do you have any restrictions on your dress? You know, is it? You know, and I asked them to show me. Now every girl has a picture of their dress. You know 85 of them on their phone. So I look at how it's bustled. I ask them how it's bustled. I, you know, is it hook? And I is a button, is it? Is it turned under and tied, which I think you still call that a French Bustle? Yes and good, at least I'm still up with that. But you know, and I explained to them and they tell me that and I say, well, okay, we want to make sure that when you get up to dance, that everything is secure, because if it lets loose You're gonna be walking all over your dress, you're gonna be tripping.
Speaker 1:Oh yes.
Speaker 2:So and. I talked to them about their shoes. I tell them bring a pair of shoes that are comparable what you'll be wearing for your wedding, that's when we get into discussion. Well, I'm wearing heels for the ceremony, but during the, the actual reception, I want to be comfortable. So I'm going to wear sparkly kids and I'm going. Okay, is your dress altered for the heels or for the kids? Well, it's all through the heels.
Speaker 1:I said leave the heels on for three more minutes, honey, because it's gonna be dragging on the ground.
Speaker 2:Oh, I never thought of that. That's why we do what we do.
Speaker 1:That's why we do what we do. Exactly, I tell me.
Speaker 2:it's your first rodeo, it's my 400th, you know yeah, or thousand at this point in my life.
Speaker 1:Well, and I think a lot of them don't realize, like the dress it's almost like a person on the wedding day.
Speaker 1:I mean, when you first find the dress, you know when it's the dress, because first you put it on and then you start like going swishing back and forth, then you start petting your hips and your tummy a little bit in the mirror, then you don't want to take it off and then if you're gonna cry, it usually happens so closely after that. So you're making a connection with that dress, just like you would make a connection with a person. But on the wedding day you have to dance with the dress, you have to sit in a limo with the dress, you have to stand at the altar or underneath the gazebo or wherever it is. You're having the ceremony with the dress and your maid or matron of honor has to fix the dress, because the dress is always Moving in other places. And so I mean you really have to keep in mind that the dress is just as much of a person on the wedding Day as as your fiancee is.
Speaker 2:And keeping on that note, I have had students that after I have taught them a lesson and I talked to them about their dress or sometimes I usually talked to them right away oh, I haven't had an altered yet. Then they come in on the second lesson and say oh, by the way, I have what I call a cowl neckline. Is that?
Speaker 1:where I.
Speaker 2:Can't lift my shoulders, my arms up any higher than this and you could see the look on my face. Okay, there goes all the underarm turns that we've been working on and I'm going. You can hug anybody comfortably. It's called form versus function. To me it's like okay, you kind of limited yourself here. It's pretty for, but you're gonna be uncomfortable for the rest of the evening. So the dress is, like you said, like a person, a person on itself, because I tell the guys all the time Never pull on your bride never like and I always say don't do.
Speaker 2:I don't know if I can say that. Probably Don't do that. Say it, you're tall, she is not, so if you lift up really high, you could possibly do what I call the Janet Jackson dress malfunction.
Speaker 1:Oh boy oh.
Speaker 2:She goes whoops and she does this, and grandma faints, you're gonna be in trouble.
Speaker 1:So no wardrobe malfunction.
Speaker 2:So, I have to make them aware that they can only lift their arm up so high, according to the girl I mean, there's so many things that I think I cover in Teaching them to dance and the I know I can see them. Their eyes are just overload. I said I know that you're not expecting this much information and they go. No, we just thought we were gonna learn some dance steps. I said it's, it's much more than that.
Speaker 1:Absolutely, because if you pull on your bride.
Speaker 2:She's got a pair of you know four or five inch stilettos on and a 30 pound dress. You're gonna pull her over going down your fault. I get America's funniest Billy, america's funniest videos, hundred dollars, thank you.
Speaker 1:You're finders fee.
Speaker 2:There's just so many things that are above and beyond that I think are necessary Getting out on the floor? Where are you coming from? This is all stuff that I include, not include.
Speaker 1:It's just necessary information.
Speaker 2:I find out. Where are you coming from? Where is your? Where is your table? Do you have a sweetheart table? Do you have a long table? You have to walk around the table. When are you doing your first dance? What are you dancing with your father, art? What's the song that you're doing? I have to find out all that information before I can do what I call a presentation, where there is Nothing left to be desired from the minute they get announced to the minute they sit down speaking of announcements.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I had a DJ tell me a while back that a Bride, we might say, turned into Bridezilla yes, that's a common term In the wedding, this but she went off on him because he didn't announce them properly. Oh, that's my biggest pet peeve was evidently a doctor and he didn't know that. So I always, and he announced a miss, mr Mrs so oh yes, it's, doctor, and. Mrs yes, our doctor, and mr yeah it is doctor and mr, but so anyway, I always ask them have you talked to your DJ?
Speaker 2:Make sure that they know how you want to be announced, and this is the reason why they go well.
Speaker 1:We never even thought about Exactly they don't know, they don't know, they don't know and so all those are preliminaries.
Speaker 2:I know that now I've seen In other. You know you have to know what your Competitors are, although we don't think we really have competitors, because no we have co-op attishin, we all get along. But the thing is is that I know what they're doing and what I say, the gimmicks that they're using to make it look more enticing, and I'm going well, I've been doing that all along. I never thought about telling people that I do it because it's not a gimmick to me.
Speaker 2:I'm there to make you the best you can possibly be and give you as much information as you can.
Speaker 1:You know, one of my favorite things is when the couple is introduced into the reception and they go right into their first dance. That's one of my favorite things. What do you? How do you like it?
Speaker 2:Oh Well, I have all kinds of things Again. Here's more you, more details. All right, what are you doing? Your first dance, when you first walk in the room, after you cut the cake, after dinner those are usually the three most popular times You're gonna enter. If you're gonna do it from when you're coming in and here you I'm sure you've heard this before Well, we want to do it right away because our guests are kind of probably be. We don't want to wait. Make them wait for dinner. I'm going. Aren't you serving our derv's?
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, they're not eating.
Speaker 2:I have mouth now. Now nutrition by the time you get there, but if you're coming in is your wedding party coming in? Are they coming in prior to you? Are they coming into special music? All those things you know? Are you ditched your veil? You ditched your flowers. You're gonna make your appearance as mr, mrs, you're gonna stand there for a few seconds or whatever, and hootenholler or whatever, but then and I find out how far do you have to go from point a to get to your?
Speaker 2:I mean, it's, it's almost like drawing, you know, a map. It's a schematic. It's really very interesting. So I find all of that out. Make sure that their music is playing. I have changed people's songs.
Speaker 1:What? Before we started no, before we started recording, we talked about that, how it's important for a couple to have an idea of what their first dance song will be, because, in order for you to properly I don't even want to say choreograph, because that's not the word what's the best word?
Speaker 2:I'm going to go back and say just disregard what you just said. Woooo, it's not important for them to know what their first song is. Some people come to me and they have no idea what song they're going to dance to. Okay, so the reason it's not. And because I do go over that with them, I tell people with a first contact what song are you doing? Well, we don't know yet. Okay, narrow it down. Probably probably one of the biggest fights, other than, did you do the dishes today?
Speaker 1:My husband and I are still having that one. It's finding out.
Speaker 2:What song are we going to do? Narrow it down. Do we like old songs? Do we like new songs? Do we like contemporary music? Do we want classical music? Do we want show tunes, country music, what do we want? And narrow it down from there. He doesn't like country, she likes country. So you have to find a happy medium between the two before you, otherwise you're going to go bonkers listening to all the songs. Let me tell you a very funny incident I had. I had a father-daughter come to me and they played their song. This is a song we want to do. I don't remember the name of the song.
Speaker 2:It was a couple years ago and I said did you listen to the words? Why did you pick this song? Well, we just like the artist and we like the music and whatever, and you know it's a country song and I said do you realize that in the confines of this song it says I can't wait to get you home tonight, honey, to make love to you and you're dancing with your daughter.
Speaker 1:Okay, that's creepy.
Speaker 2:It's creepy but it's true I mean they're not really going as much detail as we do. And I said don't do that song. I mean that is creepy. So I run into all kinds of stuff and I have changed their song. I just changed the song just a couple days ago. The most popular song which I loved when I was younger is At Last by Etta James. Oh yes, that's very popular we have heard it a thousand times as long as Perfect by Etta Sharon.
Speaker 1:Yes. What are some other popular ones that you hear quite a bit? Lately a lot of people are getting into Frank Sinatra, the way you look tonight for father-daughters.
Speaker 2:And I can't name them all. A lot of countries, country things are popular, but I have a great song, etta James. If I hear Etta James one more time I will probably go oh God, this is almost as boring as the dance. But I have a version of it by Nat King Cole, old standard artist. I just changed their song this morning.
Speaker 2:It doesn't make any difference what they dance to, but as far as the tempo for me and we can get into that, I told you I talk a lot because I love what I do.
Speaker 1:I love what I do and you know what I think that's an important thing is that most wedding professionals are in this business because they love what they do and they're passionate about what they do. And if we're giving a couple a suggestion, it's not because we're trying to judge anything that they brought to us, because we legitimately want it to be a perfect day for them and we want it to be a great day, and this is what we do. I mean, I'm close to 300 weddings now under my belt. Wow, good for you. It's a lot of weddings, but hopefully this is the only one they're ever going to have, and our intentions are never to make them look foolish. It's not my way or the higher way.
Speaker 2:Right, exactly, and every wedding is different and every couple that you meet is different. They all have different personalities, they all have different walks of life, they have all different occupations, they all think differently. And I will say that in most cases I find that the guy is for dance lessons is kind of like there. And because she said so, when I get a call on the phone and a guy calls me, I always say so this was your job, wasn't?
Speaker 1:it.
Speaker 2:I say how did you know? That I said because when the guy calls me I know she has said you're going to have to call and make a rate twist for the dance lessons and you say yeah you're right. Then I'll ask him like so what song are you doing? And I hear him go. I don't tell her that you don't know what the song is, because you're going to be in trouble.
Speaker 1:I'm saying it's right up there with forgetting the anniversary date. I'm saving you now. And he went.
Speaker 2:Wow, thank you a whole lot for that information, but it's a very interesting occupation for me. I don't like to say that I teach ballroom dancing. I am a ballroom dancer, but I don't teach them to ballroom dance. Matter of fact, many years ago I don't even know if you know this my company's name was Ballroom Dancing by Bud Baldwin. Yes, I remember I remember I changed it and I did change it from ballroom dancing by Bud Wolters to your first plug, your first dance by Bud Wolters.
Speaker 1:Probably because it is their first dance and it may or may not be ballroom, yeah, but ballroom dancing.
Speaker 2:I think, with the advent of dancing with the stars and all this stuff, I think the guys think that that's what they're going to have to do and it's a little even more intimidating. Your first dance is so much on a different level because it just says more comfortability, right? So I changed it from ballroom to your first dance Makes perfect sense. It made sense to me. It was a difficult decision to change, oh, absolutely.
Speaker 1:I changed my logo after 20. Wow, yes, yes, happy Girl is being phased out and we've got a new logo, and Good for you. That took a lot.
Speaker 2:Which means that we're changing too.
Speaker 1:Right, you have all.
Speaker 2:We're growing, we're learning. I think we're learning. It's amazing how every time I teach it, even after 40 years with wedding couples, but how I'll explain something and I'll go wow, that really works. I'm going to have to incorporate that now.
Speaker 1:I wish I could say something.
Speaker 2:I mean I'm very honest with my students and I have fun with them and sometimes maybe they think I'm a little off color and I'm not, but it makes them think. I mean I ask them like how long you've been living together?
Speaker 1:Do you live together?
Speaker 2:Oh, yes, I said so you're both sinners.
Speaker 1:So how long have you been sinning together?
Speaker 2:You know, but if he thinks it makes fun they look at, he's not a dance instructor, he's a real person who we're going to be able to enjoy and be able to communicate with. I don't know if I went back, but it goes back to the couple that said you know, you take the time to know who they are. They feel relaxed.
Speaker 2:It helps them bond together a little bit better because you know, you say he's the leader, you're the follower, and and you know I see her roll the eyes I say, I know you can't handle that. However, he's in charge after the wedding is over. You can be in charge again, but right now he learns to lead, you learn to follow. I go back to the premise of the old Frank Steinbottiger, as I called it, showing them how to do a nice dance position, which is pretty standard all over, making sure that they leave room for their dress. My new thing is, which I love, so so leave room for your dress and Jesus, it's funny.
Speaker 2:It's funny, oh, absolutely, and I haven't had anybody that ever complained about that. So if you don't believe in Jesus, then don't leave room for it. But anyway. So, and teaching them how to move around the floor and the guys are always worried about keeping time to music. Well, if you think about it, you think of songs like at last by the James. It's really hard to follow any kind of a beat or anything to that. So what I have them do is dance more to the mood of the music and just move around the floor. I have a set, a set step pattern. They always ask me can we see this on YouTube? No, it's something.
Speaker 2:I invented many years ago. No studio teaches it. It's not structured, it's not choreography. I don't believe in choreography. Are we touching all the bases here?
Speaker 1:No, I mean like well, before we started recording this today no, I mean because I think I actually use the word choreography and you're like no, it's not choreography. And you know from somebody who did theater for many, many years, as you do as well, I mean, when you think of dancing, you think choreography and it isn't. I mean, you want to go into that a little bit.
Speaker 2:Here's the reason why.
Speaker 1:I don't.
Speaker 2:Well, he'd say well, we would like to have our first dance choreographed and I'm saying no, you don't. Here's the reason why If you learn a series of patterns and you know, he knows that A is coming, and then B, and there's C, and he forgot what D is. And he went back and did A and you did D. You're messed up.
Speaker 1:And he's going to go, oh beep, oh yeah, we're not going to be able to recoup this Right.
Speaker 2:We're going to look like we're lost. So the secret is is to teach the man to do a series of patterns, but lead those individuals as different pictures, as many times as you want, in any order that you want. She learns to follow, he learns to lead, they learn to dance, so that they're not only learning to dance for their wedding but they're learning to dance for the rest of their life.
Speaker 2:They could go out forever and there are some things that I don't recommend that they do certain turns and stuff because they're a little flashy, but for the most part they're not going to get out there and rock back and forth like anybody else. They're going to look like they're dancing and that maybe took lessons. Maybe I can usually tell when somebody has taken lessons because it's very structured looking to me and I try hard to not have that look to it.
Speaker 1:That makes perfect sense.
Speaker 2:Always a compliment when they say to me well, we had many people ask us that we took lessons. Well, maybe to some studios, that's really a slap on the face, Not to me. That's a compliment to me If they look comfortable enough that they can continue and they look good. My acting experience that I've had and the model I taught modeling for a long time. But I look at that couple as a couple, what they're representing, and I say, guys, she doesn't realize it, they do that when they're thinking.
Speaker 2:I say you look like you don't have any teeth on your pictures.
Speaker 1:Miss America wears Vaseline on her lips so that her lips just doesn't stick.
Speaker 2:So you need to learn to smile because whatever you show up there, your guests are going to feel, oh gosh, they look so uncomfortable, they're not having a good time. And I always say, are you two mad at each other? Do you love each other? This is the prettiest girl in the room. Look at her. These are things I think are really important to be the best presentation they can have. If you screw up, you don't get do-overs, you continue on, you act like you didn't make a mistake and go on, isn't?
Speaker 1:that true of any theater program. I mean, it's almost like you're teaching a life skill, because my big thing is ums us, like you know's drive me bonkers, and so anytime I have the opportunity to try to break that habit with somebody, I try, and a lot of people don't realize that they're saying it, but it's kind of the same thing where you're almost teaching them a life skill.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. That they're going to take with them for the rest of their marriage, the rest of their lives, I would hope so, and I would like to think that one of the life skills is learning to be able to communicate with each other. You're not, I'm not doing this or you're not doing this without being angry about it. I tell my grooms look, she has to say to you what is called a frame, which is very important in dance because it tells the lady where to go, and it's 50-50.
Speaker 2:But she has to tell him because he's thinking about what he's going to do and how's he going to get her there and his frame and all that, and all she has to do is say frame. And that should bring him back to reality. And I say I don't care if she tells you 65 times while you're practicing Frame, frame, frame, frame frame. She's not crabbing at you, she's just telling you that she doesn't know where to go because your frame is not there.
Speaker 1:Well, I remember in dirty dancing that Patrick Swayze, or his character, was always saying you know, hold your frame. This is my dance space, this is your dance space.
Speaker 2:I didn't know that.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, thank you, yes, I love it. So you're going to go have to watch it and check it out again.
Speaker 2:I mean, I, you know it is funny that that there's so many things that you that you find out that you've been doing all along and you didn't realize. Nobody ever taught me to teach that.
Speaker 1:Is that I mean?
Speaker 2:I don't. It's just a life experience, and I think that's what makes me a little different than the rest of the teachers. I'm not just somebody. When you come to me, you know what you're going to get.
Speaker 2:You know that you're going to get bud Walters, because I'm a one person show, but if you go to a studio. You don't know who your teacher is going to be Right. You don't know if you're going to like them or not, and I always say you know, if you don't like me, I'm old enough now I'll give you your money back and you can leave. But I don't think that's going to happen because I feel very competent with that. But I can teach you in three lessons completely what you need to know, which some studios are doing 10 lessons.
Speaker 1:I was going to say. I usually hear like a dozen or so from a studio.
Speaker 2:And an incident not too long ago where the, the young lady, wound up coming to me because the teacher couldn't, couldn't accommodate them after she had gone with them and sent and called me up because we have a good relationship with them and actually I had trained her, but it was just fine. So they, they chose not to go to me but to go to her and I was going, that's fine, I don't care, she couldn't accommodate them, so she sent them back to me and I asked her point blank why did you go to the other person? I think I have to know that from my own marketing values, whatever. Well, because they were cheaper.
Speaker 1:Okay, they're $10 less than me.
Speaker 2:I can understand that, but I give you one full hour, and I know that they don't, and also I know that I can teach you in three, but they're going to teach you in six.
Speaker 1:Did you save any money?
Speaker 2:No, and I have a lot of good reviews.
Speaker 1:Well, and it's interesting because with planners, we deal with that a lot. Oh, because you have such a wide range of pricing for planners and the ones who are like me, where I'm probably more in the medium high end. We're, we've been doing that. I've been doing this almost 20 years. We're licensed, we're insured, I have a team. I mean you get, you're buying my experience, not to knock anybody who's been doing it for one or two or three years, because you know Everybody, everybody, has to start somewhere. But they are going to be more, less expensive because they haven't had to deal with some of the I.
Speaker 1:I can write a book with all the true stories that have happened on wedding days. Oh yeah, easily. And Some of you tell these stories to friends and family and they look at you and they're like what Are you serious? Because it's almost it's a story that you just can't make it up. It's so crazy. But you have to think on your feet, you have to be calm, you have to be collected, you have to have a big smile on your face and you have to figure out a solution of some sort so that you can keep going through the day.
Speaker 2:And you had to be, you had to be in charge, absolutely you had to be in charge Absolutely, and so you know.
Speaker 1:The other thing is and you probably see this too with the price fluctuation I find that some of the people who are every known then I'll see a planner on Facebook charging three hundred dollars per day of coordination and One that's not even minimum wage to they're not paying their taxes.
Speaker 1:Three, they're not insured because you're gonna pay at least that for insurance, and and there's just that person is taking on so much liability by by doing it at such a bargain basement price. So you know, I tell people just kind of keep that in mind that you know, if you've got a planner who's charging you know A couple thousand dollars for a service, they do have overhead expenses that are associated with their business Whereas, like, the person is charging a couple hundred dollars, probably is doing it on the side, or as we call them, the weekend warriors, where you know they do other things besides that but I get that everybody has and everybody has a budget, though, and I get that too so you want to make sure that the last thing you want to do is Spend money you don't have.
Speaker 1:You know, being in debt is no way to start a marriage, and I tell people that I'm like do you know? Set a budget and stick to it. There's going to be a vendor in every price range for whatever your budget is, and that is more important than you know. Throwing this party that's going to put you in debt for the next ten years.
Speaker 2:I think it's really important to for the, the wedding couples, to do their research and find out who these people are that you're going to be dealing with. And it's like going to a doctor. We've all gone to a doctor and went, and that's okay if you don't like the vendor. I mean, you know, not everybody's going to be the same and I'm sure that not everybody likes me, but I don't think that's true, but anyway. But it's one of those things where they need to do their research, go and I found that out. Say, how did you find me? How did you find me through this medium or that medium? And did you look at the reviews?
Speaker 2:They said, well, we we went and typed in dance lessons and your first one came up. I went well there must be something to be said for that. Google is very important. I love to mention that I guess Google, google, google, google, google you know, and I'm starting getting the point where I say you know, I asked for reviews. I don't know if a lot of vendors do one person said how do you? Get all these five-star reviews.
Speaker 1:I ask.
Speaker 2:I here's my. Thing.
Speaker 1:I saw.
Speaker 2:I would like to have a review from you.
Speaker 1:I would like to have a five-star review from you.
Speaker 2:if you don't think I'm worth five stars today, tell me now I'll fix it. I can't fix it once you're online Craving about whatever it was that I didn't give you, because I can't change it then right, so that's the way it is. And they say would you actually ask them for you actually say that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh, I absolutely asked for for feedback.
Speaker 2:I want to know what's right and what's wrong. Most of the time is just that they really had fun. They learned a lot their wedding guests really loved what they did. If they were glad that they took the lessons they. It brought them closer together as a couple. They found out communication skills that were necessary. There's so many More things that I think they get out of that. It's a date night too.
Speaker 1:Oh, that is one thing I tell my couples to do is a date night. Yeah, I especially that maybe month or six weeks before the wedding, when everybody's coming at you, I tell them you are to go on a date night and you are not allowed to say the word guest list, reception, headcount, catering, photography. You're not allowed to say anything regarding your wedding. This is a timeout. Just like we give kids a timeout in the corner, you guys need a timeout too, and you know if they just go and even just have dinner and a movie or whatever it is or come and take a dance lesson.
Speaker 1:Just something that you know get that removes you from all of the chaos, because, at the end of the day, when you're getting married, you're marrying your best friend. Everything else is a party, and if you take a step back and realize that is why you're doing all of this, that's your rock.
Speaker 2:Focus on your rock, lean on your rock, because it's gonna help you get through all that stressful time and you know and what I hear, and and I wish there was a a Solution for this. I always ask the girls and the guys so what do you have to do? What you know? How close are you to being done? And I would say that 90% of them, I get them three to four weeks before their wedding. Right, I got them in crunch time, um, and they're. I've had girls fry.
Speaker 1:Therapy sessions, where all vendors are used to therapy sessions, that's for sure.
Speaker 2:I don't teach on the week of their wedding unless it's absolutely necessary, because they're not focused. Are you here, are you with me at the moment, or are you thinking about what your flowers are going to do? But the 99% of them say we haven't got our RSVPs back and I'm so worried about that and a lot of them. That's the biggest complaint they have.
Speaker 1:And 20% of your guests will not get back to you one way or the other. That is totally normal.
Speaker 2:Right Just told me last week. She said I got three wedding invitations back blank. They put it back in the envelope and sent it to me. I said so they're not coming. She said I don't know, I don't know how many people there are.
Speaker 2:I have no idea but, I, know I got Said well, and they saw me last week and I I ushered down at the at the air and often I had my black uniform on my earpiece and she and they were there. I dearly love this couple. There's so much fun and I was invited to their wedding, which is coming up you and she said you, you look like a CIA agent. She said would you stand at my door and ask people if they have turned in their reservation.
Speaker 2:I said, yeah, I'm sorry. And I said, well, you know, here's the way you operate this. Put a table on the corner and you tell them I'm sorry, we didn't get your reservation. You can sit over there, and if we have any food left, we'll be glad to share it with you.
Speaker 1:Well, and you know, when you get your rsvp's, you have your rsvp date. I tell them, give them two days after the rsvp date is due, because there are people who have it on the refrigerator and they take it down on the day it's due and drop it in the mail. So you have to give them that little benefit of the doubt buffer. But if you haven't heard back from people one way or the other, do a follow-up call. You know, it can be your maid of honor, it can be you, it can be your, one of your parents. But you know, find out one way or the other. Are they coming? Because it is possible that they sent the rsvp back and the post office is the one that dropped the ball and the last thing you want is to have them show up and have no place to sit.
Speaker 2:I'm kind of the last Guy in the totem pole. I mean, you know, well, we practiced in our kitchen and realized that we couldn't do this. We need dance lessons. And we're getting married in two weeks and of course I always tell them you know that's a little ambitious, because you're like saying I wouldn't know how to play a recital piece on the piano. I've never taken piano lessons before and I want to be able to do a concert instead of in front of 300 people in one hour Lesson.
Speaker 1:I'm going like that's unrealistic, yeah, that's not realistic. So I always tell them Get.
Speaker 2:They call for the flowers. Everybody else is all a year ahead. I want them to get used to doing that with me. I am booking into october and november and I think they think sometimes it's a come on because I say you need to book now. I have had people Three weeks ago. They're getting married the 27th of May.
Speaker 1:We need dance lessons.
Speaker 2:Sorry, I'll teach you on my day off, but it's kind of gosh you a little bit more because I'm off. This is, I'm opening up the store for you, right, and you're not going to have much time to practice and there's only so much I can teach you in that amount of time without you being overwhelmed.
Speaker 1:So what would you recommend? If a couple is interested in when learning how to properly dance for their first dance, how far out should they be calling somebody like you?
Speaker 2:Well, first of all and I've changed my wording on this when you know that you're getting married let's say in september, say the first of september you know that you're going to be taking your lessons, probably about I allow four weeks, even though they can accomplish it in three. People get sick, people have, have life gets in the way you know life gets in the way. So I allow them that one week buffer. So they plan four weeks out from that.
Speaker 2:So you're looking at already august or the end of july Now don't wait till july, because those are busy months, although they don't realize that, but usually we're already booked.
Speaker 1:Well, it would be, because the most popular times of year, in ohio at least, to have a wedding, or september, october, may in june, and so if those people are learning two to three months out, it makes sense.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but I always say that you know, you know, september is the new june.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm used to be june weddings.
Speaker 2:But if you, if you can figure about four weeks prior to your wedding, not including your wedding date. That's when you should start, but book Before that keep in mind that it's like going to a doctor's office.
Speaker 1:You don't just get in tomorrow, because you're called today.
Speaker 2:It doesn't work that way. You have to play on head right and I know that All that gets in the way and they're not sure they want to do this and you know it's the last minute thing. I'm not as important as the flowers, I'm not as important as the fishing or the venue, but then all of a sudden, when they start practicing in their kitchen, they realize that I'm pretty important.
Speaker 1:Well, on that note, bud, thank you so much for joining us today. How can people find you?
Speaker 2:Oh well, uh, they can. Let's see, they can find me through my, my website which is your first dance by bud walters. They can probably type in bud walters on google and it'll still come up. Yeah, I love a lot of good google reviews and they can go on the knot and they can find out through the knot. Word of mouth, ask around. Surprisingly enough, I've found it through madira, moms, indian hill, moms, yelp. Uh, angie's list.
Speaker 1:I'm going like wow, it's like how do all these people find me? They just do because you're amazing. But that's how they find you are popular. Popular, you know.
Speaker 2:But thank you so much for joining us today, talk about it and they can be realized. What we have in common, absolutely the problems that we have.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much for joining us to tune into future podcasts. Be sure to subscribe and you can also visit your dream day dot com to get a list of past podcasts and what we have coming up on the schedule On capy peach lucas. Thank you so much for watching or listening. Happy planning.
